25 Stories – Rowena


I was in a relationship with my abuser for close to three years. When I look back at the relationship, I realize that it was never healthy. We fought constantly, and he was extremely territorial. I go to school; therefore, I am around both sexes on a daily basis. I also have male friends, but he would not allow me to be friends with them. He would accuse me of cheating and I was isolated from my friends. I snuck out of the house the day he strangled me.

I went to my cousin’s house and after I calmed down, I called the police. I filed a report, and he was arrested for assault. After I filed for a restraining order I was approached by DVAC staff and they set me up with an attorney for the hearing, and an advocate/case manager to provide support during and after the hearing. I was granted the restraining order, and am moving on with the rest of my life. My advocate and I have been working on redirection techniques to help me focus better, and I am also seeing a counselor regularly who is helping me process all that has happened.

My goal is to become an Elementary school teacher. I want to help children realize their true potential. I also want to become financially stable enough to move to the mainland, I’m hoping San Francisco!  I still have thoughts about what had happened, and I honestly miss him from time to time. I know those feelings are normal, and I was told by my advocate, that I miss who he wanted me to miss, not actually him. I agree with the statement, and try to remind myself of that daily. There is still quite a bit healing that needs to be done, but I am pursuing my dreams and have the support of my family and friends.

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